A good reminder was given to me, it comes from the movie, "The Help". Sure enough it is so fitting, as I feel like singlemom life is trying to knock me out this week.  I almost cried on Tuesday, but then as always, you see your child as the most perfect reminder of all the strength you ever need, he gave me that push to keep strong.   I'll spare the details as everyone can relate to their own lives getting filled to the top, I just knew I needed to find a deep breath...

So we made pancakes.

I actually wrote out this entire post and erased it all, except the pictures.  Because at the end of the day I realized, pancakes with my favorite 6 year can save the world!

Bree

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Discovery of the weekend: Motivation counts, big time.

At Saturdays swim meet us crazy swim moms, (and you thought soccer moms were bad), had our motivation through the roof.  We weren't even swimming, but we were motivated to be there.  Let me back up.  Maybe sleeping in, the beach, shopping, or a nice romantic hike would have been more thrilling, but for our kiddos we knew we had to be excited about swimming, motivated, because if we are they are.  Without even realizing it a child learns more through example than anything else.  It's not that children can't think for themselves, but they choose things and due to their youth and lack of focus they often are over it after a minute or week or month.  It's then (er, now) we have to help instill in them the drive to keep going, develop a routine, and set some foundation for perseverance.  All possible by keeping motivation strong.  Sure, they will find their own motivation sooner or later...and then sadly like adults, maybe lose it.

Motivation counts.  My goal of the week is to set fire to Kainoa's little and big goals this week.  To plaster my own goals with more motivation, and to do the same for Mike and my close friends/family that have trusted me with their desires or knowing what they have happening in their lives that could take some motivation to get up and go again, and again, and again...

What happens with motivation:  Results.

Today Coach Wenders handed out the ribbons.  All the kiddos want them, they love ribbon Monday, and it's now that they are learning the priceless treasure of "hard work brings reward".  So while swimming is far from the only way to discover this lesson, (it can be any sport, goal, idea, dream, getting through school, baking, ect.), these kiddos have landed some motivation from those they look up to, are finding ways to motivate themselves, and now we cross our fingers these days will impact their future too.

Of course the youth motivate me big time!  This little 7 year old clearly has figured out her own motivation.  Let me tell you a quick story...Saturday at the meet she asked coach what the state qualifying time was in one of her events, got the time, then went to her start block and swam as fast as she could for that time.  She missed it, but she landed a best time, another blue ribbon (she only got blue ones), and was happy as could be.  She wouldn't let me have even one of her pretty ribbons, but I got enough from her with the way she took a goal and made it her mission.  Motivation, it really moves you.  Just don't mistake motivation for pressure. 

Okay that's a wrap over here.  I'll leave you with my Mother's Day card Kainoa made at school, it pretty much means the world to me.

Cheers!
Bree

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I have officially accomplished thing #32 on my "bucket list".  #32-Ride bike to Hilo.  Something has always intrigued me about riding bike to the other side of the island.  I've ridden all the West side, all the East Side, over the Saddle road (half at a time) up to the top of the island, but never from Kona to Hilo.  Yesterday after swim practice #32 was checked off the list, it was so awesome I am already planning to do it again, and again!

There are so many routes you can take, okay not that many, it is an island after all.  Of the 5 routes I took the safest (as in wider shoulders) since it was a solo ride.  It was not the shortest route (the boys told me it would be 8 hours), it was by far the most beautiful! I took Queen K, North, Hamakua to Hilo.  Packed with 8 hours of fuel and an IPOD full of songs I sung out loud to, it was one of the best days of my life!  First, let me set this straight, it did not take 8 hours, those boys must have taken a lot of pee stops! 

The views are so incredible by bike!  You can peek over the bridges and see waterfalls, hundreds of palms trees, and more birds than a zoo!  It kept taking my breath away, I was literally pinching myself that finally #32 was being accomplished!  About 3 hours in the ride began to zoom by so fast I wanted to slow down time,  it hit me that I could race and be to Hilo in just after 5 hours.  Pedaling with purpose has it's place on the training plan, but today was meant to "pedal with passion".  So I slowed, in fact I took the little 4-mile detour route, then I tried to get lost down a side street only to land at a pineapple stand. 

There was only one part of the ride (okay 3 parts) that were even a little bit freaky-the 3 gulches.  It was here that I really had to embrace the bike and muster up courage, not stupidity where I ride like a chick on a mission, but some courage.  You fly down a winding hill, reaching up to 40, then take a sharp turn that is blind to cars, then ride up a blind turn.  Cars ride all over the lanes here because rocks fall off the sides of the valleys/mountains and take up space in the traffic and shoulders.

My beloved Swift Carbon sure did impress me with the handling on climbs, twists, and turns.  In fact, it was so comfortable I could ride back to Kona from Hilo all in the same day! (but I got a ride home).  Hilo is usually known for rain and rainbows, not today.  It was truly a perfect day on the bike...

The plan was to arrive in Hilo about 4, be at Mikes truck when he got out of school at 4:30, then ride home to Kona with him as he comes home to Kona every weekend.  He had no idea I was going to ride to Hilo, he just knew I had a long ride.  To surprise him was the cherry on top of tackling #32 and his face when he saw me did not disappoint!  It was awesome as could be.  Of course I was very stinky and hungry-nothing new to him...

Arriving into Hilo is always special, the little town is so old and welcoming.  Of course I was here super early so I explored a lot on bike finding more hidden treasure than ever found by any drive to Hilo.  Including that inner confidence to get up and make something wonderful happen that I have always wanted to do.  Seriously, the rest of my bucket list is now calling my name more loud than ever. 

The ride to Hilo is now firmly tucked within for Ironman CDA.  Those gulches, an unknown ride with the familiarity of my bike, and having the guts to just get up and go after something has me really inspired.  Everything felt happy landing in Hilo and having Mike at the "finish line" was the very best part.  This morning I was still so happy that I didn't even realize the fatigue lingering in my legs and somehow managed my long run feeling fresh.  Okay race day, do you hear me?  Let's repeat this...

Today was Kainoa's special day, Long Course swim meet.  He had a bit of a break through in the back stroke with a 27 second PR in the 50.  I'm not sure if he just worked really hard today after a dozen other swim meets of goofing off to tackle that big feat, but to see a child light up by reaching a milestone or whatever you want to call it, sure set me into the best mood for Mother's Day tomorrow.

#33, #34, I am coming for you :)
Have a good weekend & Happy Mother's day to my mom friends and my mom! 
PS.  Kainoa thank you for being my son!

Bree

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Did you ever quit anything?  Totally just toss in the towel and give up?  Not stop and restart, just quit.  I did.  And the moment I did never faded, because quitting haunts you if it's not your usual style.   I quit Ironman CDA in 2010.  On the beach before the swim start I cried to my homestay family, in the freezing swim I cried behind Matt Lieto's feet round lap #2, I did one loop of the bike and promised myself I could stop after the 2nd loop, then I quit. No marathon. Done.

Just like that I became a quitter.  You can make excuses, I did.  It was cold, I got hypothermia in the swim, I was sad because of a break up with the first boy I dated after my divorce and couldn't get my heart straight, I missed Kainoa, oh I had so many excuses and reasons.  I ran a mile and just quit, called it off as, "I don't need to prove I can walk a marathon".  THEN... in an attempt to resolve my quitter-ness, I went to a sports psychologist thinking he would be able to help my body run despite my brain saying, "No, you suck right now".  Guess what, nobody can help you not be a quitter but yourself.  And so, after a few sessions with the sport psychologist (all very good learning steps for sport), I discovered that you have to have a reason to keep going or quitting is very easy to do.  That goes for everything in sport, life, and love.  You can just quit when it doesn't feel good, feel fast, feel right, or feel easy...

Next month I am returning to Ironman CDA and the demons of that freezingness, that down hill bike section that freaks me out, amongst other things that have haunted me over there, I am going back to un-quit what I once quit. Oh, I've already pep talked myself and prepared myself that Ironman CDA is not a warm, tropical beach.  There are no pretty fish in the swim, the bike is not an easy breezy, warm ride, and the run...well, I only know the first mile.  There is no pretending, the "fake like I love it", will not be my plan, I am preparing right now to find a way to be strong and brave...

Training has been really good on the island.  You know, dolphins, plumerias, beaches, and papayas.  It's been hot, sunny miles, lots of them  Yesterday was a breakthrough day for me, just over 8 hours of swim-bike-run.  My mind saw a few ugly places, the dark ones that you can choose to "quit" or slow down, and I welcomed them with open arms, in fact I need them, to learn how to  overcome them so when CDA gets here I am ready.  Tomorrow is designated as my "Ironman CDA" day.  I pretty much took Hawaii and mapped it out (minus the cold and giant Christmas looking trees) and made a practice Ironman for tomorrow.  It will have some of the similar hills, some lonely sections without a giant cheer squad, and one section should be cold and maybe rainy. It will be good for me...not to mention, long.

Um... that L is how Kainoa's says, "Love you", it's sort of been my secret humor of  motivation this week though.  I have to laugh and call it "loser" as it reminds me to not quit this big training week, because when we quit we are guaranteed to lose.  So take a deep breath if you must, go back to the drawing board, a little time out if you have to...just don't quit.  Alright, gotta sleep, tomorrow is going to be a big day on the island.  Just me, myself, and the little DNF (did not finish) demon, have some work to do...

Night,
Bree

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My first memory of chasing a boy was 3rd grade, it landed me in the principals office with a paddle to my bumper!  Is it bad to chase the boys?  If it's not on the playground, "yes, bad Bree, detention".  But isn't life one giant playground?  That was the worst day of 3rd grade-ever. And then you grow up and they tell girls not to chase boys-ever.  Let the boys come to you.  I gave up on that one at Target when Mike walked in as Kainoa and I were walking out, how could I not chase the possible man of my dreams?  Sometimes a girl just has to chase a boy...

So today, I chased Chandler in the pool then these guys for nearly 12 miles.  It was ridiculous.  Here, I'll share the roughest part:  3x10 minutes.  You run it at just a little faster than your 10k pace.  Round 1 was fun, woooohooo running after the boys like a kid on the playground!  Round 2 was not fun.  By this time my eyes wanted to roll back in my head, except I was still running strong, it was all mental.  And round 3, plug your ears, it went something like the words from a truck drivers mouth!  I felt like a corn dog on a stick. But you know what I learned?  I was the EXACT same speed as round 1 and 2, it just felt worse, so much worse.  So clearly the body can do it, it was the head not in the mood to be equally as strong.  SO I fought, I chased, I did not like it, then I loved it (because I was done), and the lesson was learned that I have to quit being such a girl sometimes.  Perhaps the only way for me to get any faster on 2 feet is to chase boys...

Then I rode bike really easy, all by myself.  The rest of the week looks to be kind of gnarly on the training front and sitting in 47th place for the Kona standings is my motivation to embrace it.  47 is not in but it's not entirely out as the season still has almost 5 months to go.  I've got 3 races and am learning the art of patience as it seems every weekend the point positions change depending on who races and where.  Anyways, I'll leave you with a simple swim workout, I know motivation gets challenging about this time of year so I better share this mornings, it was pretty smooth for the days you really just don't want to get in the pool but know you should...

200 get loose

2x400 build each

3x200 build those too, a send off with 30 seconds rest

4x100 make them strong and pick a send off with little rest

400 IM kick

20x 50 every other as fast as you can possibly swim 

200 cool down

 

Night...
Bree

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I wish Mike was home, today would have been a perfect day to spend all of it in the ocean with your best friend.  Since I'm really good at filling my days to the top with everything and anything, I decided to not do a single thing other than SWIM.  That's all coach said to do and that was all I did...

I feel lazy.
But I did bake the garden bread and "attempt" to make a recipe easy enough for even someone lost in the kitchen.  The "Garden Bread", hope you like it...

You need:  1 zucchini, 2 carrots, 3 bananas (thank you back yard for these). 3 table spoons coconut oil, 2 cups oats, and that's it.  BUT, you can  (and should) spice it up by adding cinnamon and sweeten it up by adding maple syrup (go by your own taste buds, more or less).  Kainoa likes brown sugar in his and I like cacoa powder, 1/2 cup or so of coconut shreds, and hemp seeds in mine, (So I put those in today's bread).

Do this:  Combine the zucchini, carrots, and bananas in food processor.  Add in everything else and gently mix, but not too much.  Put into bread pans (it made 3 mini loafs).  Bake at *350 for about 30 minutes, check on it though, it only needs to cook long enough to hold together, not burn it...

Cheers to a seriously vegetable-ish bread!

Bree

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You know what I just learned, late bloomer over here, that most things truly worthwhile take a long time to achieve.  Or understand.  Or develop.  Or become reality.  Not all of them, but the ones that usually are a really big deal seem to take a long time in my life.  Maybe that's why coaches always say, "It's always too soon to quit" and parents always say, "Never give up", because after a long time we eventually get there. Or understand. Or Develop.  Or see results become reality.

My patience sucks.  I'm just being honest.  Finally though, I had a very good long run.  Not just good because I went really far after being sidelined for almost 3 months.  Not good because it was just a little bit quick.  It was both in a single run and I haven't felt that since 2012.  Everything wonderful happened, kind of a fairytale of a run.  The clothes fit good, no rashing shorts, sunscreen never ran in my eyes, the IPOD had all the best songs, the shoes felt like Cinderella's glass slippers, legs felt strong and head felt focused...a run you want to happen in a race.

4 weeks and 7 weeks till my two June races.  Start lines that seemed long are getting close...

Saturday was the Cinco de Mayo swim, it was an ocean mile and perhaps a favorite race of mine over the years.  It usually goes something like this, "Try and keep up with as many high school swimmers as I can".  It was their prom night so I was expecting them to be extra fast so they could hurry home to get make-up on and look pretty for the night.  Well, surprising the pants right off me, I held on to most all the feet that I painted imaginary little red targets on.  Maybe I was in a big hurry to get out of the water and get a fancy dress on!  Truth be told, I think all those months using the pull buoy to drag my broken foot around actually paid off, having run so far the day before I was really good at dragging my legs. (Maybe I believe in the buoy now). I was happy to have had a good swim and even more thankful that the boys were willing to spend the morning at the beach with me.

After that, right on up to Hawi in the rain, on bikes, through the wind.  Training day complete and right into a shorter Sunday run and some family time, including the garden of course.  Other than the long Ironman training it seems like the zucchini are out of control.  4 of them are now longer than my arm!  I really should post the zucchini bread recipe if I ever wrote down what I mix!  It's become a bit of an addiction and if you like green bread with bananas you might like it...

I'm not sure if this is my longest week of the month or next week will be, I just know I'm excited to keep going in the direction of seeing some results (finally).  As for long distance goals, it's really hard to believe that May is already here, that's half way to October.  I keep dreaming of Ironman Hawaii this season and running through my backyard.  That's probably one of my favorite parts of having a dream, the journey to get there...

Night!
Bree

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Believe me, it is not always sunny in Hawaii.  It's raining this evening and it was sprinkling this morning, never mind that though, a bright day was kind of important to me today.  It was going to be a bit of a challenge, because if you aren't having fun or you aren't happy-it's your own fault, so the goal was to just imagine everything about my day as going in the right direction.

I think it's because I went to bed thinking about our friend Rob who was hit on his bike Tuesday, pretty much he is only alive because of his attitude.  I'm not kidding.  The front tire of the car that hit him ran over his head and the back tire ran over his rib area.  His face is swollen like a balloon and he will need countless surgeries to get back in one piece.  It sucks this happened, he is by far one of the most positive friends I have.  I remember when he lost his job, he told me it just means more time to ride bike.  Then he told me I can do anything if I drink Mountain Dew, pickle juice, and V8.  Everyone needs a friend like that, they remind you that life is AWESOME.

Anyways, my butt needed to have the crap kicked out of it for even being remotely sour about anything happening in my life when he is hanging on for his life and smiling right through a broken face.  So... I woke up unbelievably happy, thank you Rob.

The day began with a swim escorted by dolphins and a couple of my buddies who also are good pals with Rob.  We decided to dedicate this swim to him.  We dove off boat tires from the pier for him, played with dolphins as if there was no rush to get anywhere but where we were, and we laughed about all the stories Rob would tell us and moments we have with him...
 

I'm pretty sure one of the dolphins even rolled over for me to rub its belly!  It was an absolutely beautiful morning.  Then I saw the most perfect giant heart shaped coral rock on the ocean floor.  How have I never seen that!?  It was a good reminder to keep everything I love close because you just never know how fragile this life can be.  After that a beautiful purple wana all dried out caught my eye, those are Kainoa's most treasured sea gifts.  I dove down and swam it back to shore for him.  After school I gave it to him and his eyes lit up so wide and bright, more happy than any toy in a store would make him.  Then he dropped it and it broke into pieces.  Never in his 6 years of life has he cried so hard, the tears were just rolling down his face as I promised to find another one.  His fear was that I'd never be able to hold my breath long enough to reach the deep ones like the one he broke.  It amazed me how the most fragile and passionate reasons we cry are usually never for selfish reasons, but for the love we hold for something or someone we hurt, like how bad he felt that all my breath holding went to waist because he broke his little gift I found.  That of course reminded me of Rob too...

 

It was finally time to ride bike, a nice long solo ride.  No, I'm not afraid of being on the bike even after Robs accident.  To live in fear has never been my style, and I know that life has a plan for me so it does no good to run from it.  I did think about Rob out there though, and the others that have been victims on their bikes, and of all my friends that have been hurt each of them that have the ability to ride have gotten back out there and I know Rob will too.

Thankfully tomorrow is Friday, its my long run day & farmers market day...
Good Night,

Bree

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In the midst of "motherhood, training, some teaching on the side, life, love, family, friends, garden, beach, ect", I forget to update.  Today I got an email from a long distance reader of my triathlon journey asking about motivation.  While I always find it a little humbling to receive such encouraging notes,  it does motivate me to keep writing knowing that someone might benefit from my mistakes or discoveries.   She asked me for help with motivation as she wants to "rekindle" her passion for sport.  Oh, I been there, maybe all of us have.  When the day we wake up and just don't feel like going.  Katie, this is for you, Hope it helps...

1.  Remember you are human, at most a mother or father, lover, a sister or brother, a coach, teacher, or hold some kind of 9-5 job, you have to make dinner, pack lunches, fold laundry, be there for friends, make time for family, a taxi for yourself and others, mow the lawn, sit in traffic, walk the dog, kiss your husband, read bed time stories, call and wish your grandpa happy birthday, see the dentist, clip your nails & pluck eye brows, have garage sales, buy groceries, pay bills, mail letters you forget to write, and then...after all that and more... you have to lace up shoes, put on a swim cap, and put air in your bike tires.  THEN, you can swim, bike, and/or run....

Deep breath, you are human.  To find no energy, to simply loose the zest to train, to have a lot of other things on your plate, it is okay to feel your desire slip through your fingers.  Give yourself a tiny break and look at all you tackle in a day.  If you are up to your eyeballs in a fluster of overwhelming emotions, just breathe.  It will be really hard, but turn off the TV or computer, grab a book and sit still.  Just be still.  Somehow even 10 minutes of doing nothing can give you 30 minutes worth of motivation to move your tired body. And if you are seriously fried mentally/physically take a week off training, somehow when we are injured and have to sit out for a week or more all we want to do is be able to train, so fake a "reason to sit out" and sit out...

2.  Take 30.  Coach Jimmy always says, "A 30 minute run is like gold".  It really takes only 30 minutes to get a pretty decent workout in.  Just force a 30, when you are done you will thank yourself and 30 is enough to actually see results too if you are working towards better health.

3.  Find a new path, trail, our pool.
4.  Run or ride to a designation.  It always excites me to ride or run to some place and not have to ride or run home.  Mike has let me out of the car many times so I can run to the beach.  Try it, have a buddy or family meet you there with your change of clothes or to catch a ride home with them.
5.  A new swim suit has always motivated me!  Check out Splish sale suits, $15.
6.  Sign up for a race, post your goals on the fridge, don't quit, go prepare for a race!  If you are struggling massively take an adventure race, my first pick would be my friend Krista's race...See Here.  You will be in Costa Rica with some incredible company (The Lovatos) who are known for making sport amazing!

7.  Get help.  Sorry, life is hard, really hard.  Sometimes we need help, even in sport.  Tell your best friend your goals and beg them to help you make them happen.  Maybe its simple, to just run a mile or 2 every day.  They can text or call you to hold you accountable.  Or meet you for the runs!  It could be a big goal, like an Ironman.  In this case you need super support, like finding you on the side of the road during hot runs and long runs to give you water bottles and cheer you on.  Thank these people, they are like treasures...
8.  Join a team or club
9.  Start a blog.  Trust me on this, I was not a fan of starting one when I did.  Life feels calm,  pretty simple,  as a mom, friend, girl with a super boyfriend, and good family, I never imagined words written about my days become motivating to somebody somewhere or to receive back as much support as I have been given.  But is has really helped with keeping sport fresh.

10.  Eat good.  Seriously, something about good food makes you want to keep your train on the track.
11.  Get a coach, a good book, or subscribe to triathlon magazine.
12.  Tune up your bike.
13.  Buy really bright shoe laces!  My favorite trick, the brighter the better if you ask me.

14.  Remember to be patience.  My garden teaches me this.  Finding results in sports can sometimes take a while.  To see mile times improve, or be able to run further, to drop time in the long swims, all those big mile stones are made up of days and hours of hard work.  Hard work on little things.  Be strong, keep going and one day trust that you will see some growth.

15.  Remember a good moment in sport.  I hold tightly to these bands from the Ironman I did with a broken foot.  You have to keep reminders of great moments close, they will help you go for more great moments.

Finally, have fun.  If you are able to be active at all, you are in the fortunate population of us that do not take our good health for granted...

Bree

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