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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Run Positive...

Back on Maui, for a run along the coast with views of breaching whales. I'm over joyed to be here, I love this island and love running on it! I'm also looking forward to running tired, the way you feel when you hop off a bike is the way I feel right now. This week and the past couple have been very challenging for me as I jump back into the season. My head often gets in the way, my heart and body can be on the same page but sometimes my mind is out to sea. I've found the only real way to work through the struggles we face in our minds is to go out and get ourselves into situations that often times our struggles hide. It's one thing to listen to self motivation chats and read positive affirmation books, but you have to face things head on some times to get stronger. Maybe it's after embracing them, then pushing through, that we come out the other end better...
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I'd like to say this is just a "fun run" for me, because it is going to be fun. But I have a goal, I want to run to that point I often reach in racing where the body says, "oh this hurts, I don't like this, this isn't very fun" and when I get there I don't want to slow, stop, whine about it, or make some excuse for it. This week I worked harder than ever to shove my legs into the hurt box, taxing them out to the max, going to bed almost in tears at how sore they were, struggling up stairs. I wanted them in that most fatigued state, (not because I think running 13.1 miles that way will be fun), because I need to run on legs like that in order to find that spot in a race that sometimes beats me, I want to embrace it and try to find a way through it. I'm not looking for a PR time wise tomorrow, I'm looking for the most positive run I have ever run.
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The boyfriend gave me a pep talk, he was my training partner when I got into this sport so he knows where I was and when I got lost. He dared me to just run positive, as soon as something junky begins to entertain me find a way to make it a positive...that's my goal tomorrow. Run positive.
Flying from Hawai'i to Maui all I could think of was the ocean. The deepest blue shades, the most powerful water, waves bigger than houses, currents, and sea creatures, it's the very place I feel most calm, most safe, most at home. My first, vivid memory of the ocean was actually one of nearly drowning. I grew up at beaches that had amazing sandbars. You enter the shallow water and it slowly becomes deeper. Once you get beyond the deepest part you land on a sandbar. The sandbars are so shallow you can sometimes run on them. Beyond the sandbar enters the BIG, BIG, BIG ocean. It drops off and there is nothing standing between you and the rest of the water as far out as you can see.
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When I was really young, just after learning to swim my goal was to make it to the sandbar and step off the edge of the other side into the deeper blue ocean. I remember getting on the sandbar with my older sister and looking back to shore to see my parents. We made it. While the other kids were playing I went to the edge of the sandbar, stepped off, and went under. I'm not sure if a rip current got me or I was just a really lousy swimmer, but I was under water reaching for sand, for a breath, for anyone. Still to this day I'm not sure who grabbed hold of my arm and helped me back on the sandbar, it doesn't matter, what matters is that I had the courage to go beyond the safe sandbars.
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Staring more into the ocean all I could think of was that day, being that little girl. I still live my life going to sandbars fearlessly, but that courage to step off the edge I really miss.
I'm heading out for a run this evening, I just want to make sure I am EXTRA pooped for tomorrow's run. It's going to be my little mission to get on the sandbar, when the legs scream and yell at me, I want to try and go into the deeper part of the ocean. Maybe I'll be able to hold on and keep afloat, maybe Ill need rescuing again like that day at the beach when I went under. Whatever it is, I just want to go run and not be sitting on the beach for fear of drowning...
13.1 miles of whales and positive thinking, got it.
Bree



13 Comments:

Blogger Dolphin Boy said...

Okay Breezy....go out there and hammer that Maui run. Then come back to Kona and hammer some more bike rides with me. Have a great race. You WILL do awesome. Feel it.

January 22, 2011 at 7:15 PM

 
Blogger Teresa said...

go get 'em Bree!!! xoxo

January 22, 2011 at 8:38 PM

 
Blogger Shan said...

Good luck, Bree!!!!!! Love Maui...

January 23, 2011 at 3:39 AM

 
Blogger Shan said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

January 23, 2011 at 3:39 AM

 
Blogger Jill Costantino said...

GOOOOOOOO Bree!

January 23, 2011 at 5:11 AM

 
Blogger Christi said...

"...you have to face things head on some times to get stronger." I had a moment this week and it did make me stronger and more determined. So you have it right on!

Good luck with your race! I hope you have an awesome race!

January 23, 2011 at 5:15 AM

 
Blogger Lucy Francis said...

By the time I'm writing this you're either getting to the start line or have just started running, so I'm sendng you some good karma to give you a push for when it starts hurting.

January 23, 2011 at 10:23 AM

 
Blogger kakes773 said...

Go Bree! Have fun, run fast :-)

January 23, 2011 at 11:13 AM

 
Blogger Furacán said...

It seems a nice race. Enjoy it!

January 23, 2011 at 12:07 PM

 
Blogger Alissa said...

I just wanted to tell you what an inspiration YOU are to your readers...even to the ones who haven't run five miles collectively all year ;) Thank you...your take on positivity was just what I needed to read today :)

January 24, 2011 at 5:03 AM

 
Blogger Kathleen @ ForgingAhead said...

Love the plan - hope it all worked out!

January 24, 2011 at 8:06 AM

 
Blogger Oscarjet said...

Hola Bree, como estas??
Besos y abrazos ;D

January 24, 2011 at 10:23 AM

 
Blogger CoachLiz said...

So how did it go? Did you get to the hurt locker and then go to that happy ocean place and just hang on for the ride? Give us an update.

January 24, 2011 at 2:25 PM

 

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