Aloha!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Sometimes...

"Dear Bree, sometimes it is not about you, not even a little tiny bit.  Today is one of those days.  Enjoy it."  You know when you are the kind of person that likes to soak up every drop of life, you do everything, try anything, go anywhere, ect. (even if you have no clue what to do).  At 32 that has been the way it goes since birth, and so days like this I am discovering how to watch the action...
 
It was the Pailolo Challenge here in Hawaii, paddle from Maui to Molokai and of course the Maui Marathon races (1 mile all the way to marathon).  Most every year I return for the Maui Half or a couple of them a year (they have 4 good ones each year). This year I was here for Pailolo, to support and cheer on Masuda and the crew as they cross the channel.  It was a little funny about 2 hours prerace.  My belly filled with prerace nerves, thoughts of eating more fuel and hydrating took over, then I needed a port-a-potty, bad.  Found bushes and calmed myself down, because it was not me about to take on the crossing.  When they began to load the canoe and rig it just right, things took me through a loop.  A new one. 
 
                             
 My hands wanted in on the action, my heart wanted to fill with adrenaline, and I wanted to get across the channel.  I was secretly thinking how to make that happen.  Maybe one of the women would drop out and I could be a replacement?  Maybe take a jet ski over with the rescue guard?  Maybe jump on an escort boat? Swim?  Or.....not.  I went with, or...not.  This has nothing to do with me and everything to do with being supportive.  Secretly I'm a big cheerleader inside, pompoms and all.  So I was camera girl, trash girl, hold the tape girl, just watch girl.  And I loved every minute of if.  It was maybe a first time watching action and adventure unfold and secretly enjoying it from the sidelines.  Maybe even I was in the canoe tucked somewhere with Masuda...

                                 



 
Watching the boys push off for the start line, something shook within, a feeling I've yet to ever, ever, in all my life, feel.  It was so new that only stillness and quiet could explain it.  A meshing of excitement for someone elses goals and unknown tinted with danger, best explains it.  I'll be honest, I cried.  A crossing is a big deal out here, it has to be respected because the ocean is so much bigger than us and like any race, you also have to deal with yourself.  My feet were the last to leave the beach after all the canoes faded in the distance. There was no choice but to see them for as long as possible, then hold my breath waiting for the good news they all made it safe...
 
 
During the paddle I busied myself silly.  Called up Steve from Kona, he was here doing the Maui Marathon events and clung to him like glue so my mind would stay calm while the boys were out paddling.  It was hard to not even be able to watch the race.  Turns out I could just go race...
 
Steve told me the 10k, 5k, and mile were all today.  The 10k sounded perfect (it was longer).  I missed that one sitting on the beach (but I had to).  The 5k would be okay, I suppose a little speed work never hurt anyone.  Missed that too, driving from the boys race to the marathon events had traffic.  With that there was one thing to do-my long run.  My head filled with the crossing and a hunger to race, my legs zipped up and down the Maui coast admiring the views.  Then landed at lunch with Steve, "Bree, do the mile". 
 
Oh I tried to get out of the mile.  "Racing flats are back home, the booty shorts are too".  You know, the fast girls wear those little shoes and bathing suit bottom shorts, so I at least wanted to pretend to fit into a mile.  Then it was, "I just ran 10 miles and swam".  Somehow after Ahi salads we landed at the start line of the mile at 2:30.  There were like 20 waves from kids to Elite and 4:36 pm was my wave.  I tried to watch the kids to get a clue on how to even run a mile!  THEN...
 
Masudas picture text came in!  Food...he landed safely on Molokai and I could breathe again!  At 5:30 I'd pick them up from the ferry and all would be right in the world some more.  Until then, the mile was haunting me.  My legs were haunted too...
 
At 4:25 the wave of Elite women from the Olympics were up.  Steve and I admired, stared, even google eyed them.  They looked like they have horse legs, super strong and lean.  Sara Hall, Shayla Houlihan, Magda Lewy Boulet were 3 of the 6.  The race director announced them by their times, 4:18 to 4:30 were the women.  Holy cow I was excited to be front row to this!  It was awesome!  They returned from the mile 4:32-5:07 minutes later and my head was spinning!  It was like a kid in the candy store for me to see that right there...of course I wished I was running with them!
 
Finally my wave and nobody to run with, well there were lots of girls but nobody landed out front with me, I was too slow for the fast girls wave but maybe too fast for my wave.  I really am clueless how to do a mile so I tried to be smart (you know pace like a marathon or something).  At the turn I was 2:40 and thought, "Darn it, I wanted to break 5 minutes, because I have before once and I believe if you have done anything once you can do it again".  Instantly zipped thoughts of my long run out of my head, then laughed at my training shoes, Steve made fun of me because I was saying "Flats matter, see the fast girls have them", then I laughed at my shorts, those matter too...maybe not but I wanted little ones.  2:39 seconds later I was done.  5:19 was what it was, a one second negative split.  I think next time the secret is to go out faster with smaller shoes, littler shorts, and a jog not 10 miles prerace.  By the way, short stuff hurts really good and it turned out I got my adventure after all...
...and then!  The happiest girl in the world!!  It felt pretty amazing to believe in the beauty of another persons dreams and secretly hope for them as deeply as you hope for yourself.  It might become a new favorite sport, add a mile between the waiting and I could get used to it.  I love what happens in life when someone opens up your heart like that, how Masuda does for me, you just find more love in spots of you that you never even knew existed.  I guess that will trickle over into all the people in my life, love them more and give them more...

Aloha,
Bree




5 Comments:

Blogger JC said...

You are so beautiful!
What a great pic of you two! Congrats on both your races - speedsters!

September 16, 2012 at 6:06 PM

 
Blogger Bruce Stewart (施樸樂) said...

The mile used to be my favorite distance. Not too short that I would almost fall flat on my face, and not too long that I could push pretty hard all the way, without having to slow down to a crawl. I hope you have a chance to break 5 minutes again.

September 17, 2012 at 2:57 AM

 
Blogger ONEHOURIRONMAN said...

So how long does it take to do an island crossing? Can you wear aero helmets? :)

September 18, 2012 at 3:56 AM

 
Blogger Tina Marie Parker said...

Warm and fuzzy story. You deserve every happy for all the happy moments you provide the world.

September 18, 2012 at 5:32 AM

 
Blogger Lucy Francis said...

isn't it funny to be on the other side of the racing fence? I've done it a couple of times to support my hubby and friends and it I now appreciate how hard it is.
Also marshalling at a race can be tough, cheering everyone and making them feel good. You get lots of thanks yous in return.
So pleased to hear that Masuda did the crossing. Don't people actually swim the Molokai channel? I'm under the impression that it is up there with our english channel swim in the dificulty ratings.
How did you feel doing that mile?Did you ask yourself "where's the other 25?" :-)

September 18, 2012 at 9:59 PM

 

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