Monday, June 1, 2009

Healing Waters...


It has been a very long few days. It started Tuesday when Kainoa threw up in my hair. From there it got worse and worse and eventually it knocked this girl down. I tried the whole "mind over matter" thing only to find that the more I tried not to think about it the more I thought about it...

If Honu had been any other race I would have "happily" stayed in bed cuddled up with a million pillows. But it was a home town race and those will ALWAYS be better than any race in the universe to me.

Coach gave me the whole "be a professional about this" speech. The one where he reminds me there will always be more races and racing with a fever, throw up, snot flying everywhere is plain dumb unless it's your "A" race, and that racing sick will dig me in a deeper hole leading into REV3. I believed him 110%, but I've yet to learn how to emotionally detach myself from things I'm passionate about (like racing at home, even free local run races). That morning we came to an agreement... swim, bike, go back to bed.

I tried to swim smart and get a draft, I tried to ride safe and just eat/drink/and get through it without taxing my body any worse, again, I know-dumb-should have not even started, but like I said I DID NOT WANT TO NOT RACE AT HOME! I jumped off my bike, holding the run shoes, and I knew it was time to go home...

The tears came. I don't know how to "quit" a race. I sat down in T2 holding my shoes, crying, and heard Coaches voice, "DON'T BE STUBBORN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING, GO HOME AND GET HEALTHY FOR REV3". Then I heard a bunch of friends cheering, they didn't know I had to stop. Then I saw my friend Dillon run out of T2. It was like the devil (Coach Paul) was on one shoulder saying "stop here", and a little angel (me) was on the other shoulder saying,"just run a little, you love running". SO I put on the shoes and went for a little 3 mile jog straight to Jason in the service cart, who then drove me to Kate-O's dads truck, who then took me to Hapuna to get my truck, and from there Kainoa and I went straight to Kona.

Not even looking back, just crying like a big baby, we went home, without my bike. Kainoa threw up on the way home, the smell of it made me puke again, then Kainoa asked to hold my hand because he didn't feel good. He told me, "mommy, I love you". At that moment Honu felt like "just a race". And I'm already over it...

Kainoa and I moved into Brooke and Nick's house for a few days while we try to kick this thing! Last night Brooke even cleaned the throw up we got all over her living room. (thanks sis!!) As much as I love being spoiled by them this sick thing is ridiculous!

Last night I told coach I will listen to him from here on out...(my fingers may have been crossed). He told me to skip masters this morning and told me to go float in the ocean. So I spent much of my morning alone, in the ocean. I swam out to sea looking for dolphins, I floated on my back, fed the fish all the snot in my nose, and I just tried to let the ocean make me better... the ocean really is the most healing spot on Earth if you ask me...

Last week the race directors of REV3 sent me this... I must confess, it's the coolest name I have ever had on a race bib. Trying to be focused, I have turned my attention on getting healthy for REV3, but when I dropped Kainoa at preschool this morning getting healthy looked far into the future! I witnessed his play pal wipe his snot on his shorts then grab more toys. At that same time they all held hands after another girl picked her nose. I'm pretty convinced as a mom of a small child me and colds will be friends till Kainoa learns to stop sharing boogers and cooties!

I have a new plan... Kainoa is going to skip school everyday to avoid sharing germs with his mom... that or he will be banned to his dads house whenever he has a cold (ha ha)... just kidding!

On a MUCH more happy note... CONGRATS to everyone who did finish Honu! AND a HUGE congrats to all the Kona locals who grabbed their Kona slots! YES! Now I have people to train with... bring on the fun! Okay, I better grab another nap, I just used all my energy, I have a visit with the doctor in 90 minutes and I'm hoping he has a miraculous cure for moms of preschoolers!!

Happy Napping!

.

56 comments:

t-odd said...

I am soooo sorry to hear that Kainoa and you are barfy sick. BUT you led coming out of the swim. Sick, knowing you would not finish, you came out ahead of that scary Belinda Granger. In my world that shows some huge "balls." Between the ocean and a kid who loves you, you will bounce back for REV3. Hang in there!

Charisa said...

Being sick is just the worst. So sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon. I would have cried too! Get well!

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leslie said...

I'm just another friendly stalker - seriously, I promise I'm not a 50 year old balding man :)
But I just wanted to say how great you did despite being so sick, those were some great splits! I can totally understand how hard that must've been to not finish the race. You're a great mom, hope you heal up quickly!

Chris said...

Bree, even when sick, you were the #1 swimmer and #3 biker? Not bad at all.
Sorry to hear about your race outcome... but you made the right decision. Now get well, and see you at Rev3!

ADC said...

Hey hope you feel better soon. You and the coach were right not to finish the race. It is hard and the only time I DNFed i cried like a baby in T2 but it makes us better and stronger. You will rock at Rev3.

Amy Beth Kloner said...

WISE MOVE.
Being sick sucks-- I'm right there with you right now, and it's frustrating. But the add'l stress on the body won't help you heal.
Spend this week getting well and have a great race at Rev3.

Sue said...

I knew something was amuck..just glad it was only the crude..you had us worried...take care of yourself :)

damontucker said...

Bree -

You did well and I've been anxious to find out what happened as all morning I've been reading that you lead part of the race but did not finish.

You are still a champion in the eyes of the FBI Bloggers

sbrtv said...

I know a few people that saw the DNF and were worried about ya Bree. Glad to hear nothing worse happened.

Listen to coach, suck down some smoothies and get ready for this weekend. See you in CT!

Damon Steele said...

If it weren't for the illness, I think you could've held Granger and McGlone off pretty easily! Heal up and kick some ass at Rev3. We'll all be watching (some via Trakkers)

tribabe said...

Bummer! Hope you feel better soon!

Jennifer Cunnane said...

Hope you get better soon! It's SO tough when the kiddos are preschool age, I used to be sick ALL the time, but it will get better! You will have a great race at Rev 3!

Regina said...

I am a new follower to your blog. I'm so sorry you had to drop out, but better to be healthy for the REV3 (welcome to the east coast!).

As a new tri mom of a preschooler, you have my respect for doing as much and as well as you did! Kudos!

Go get 'em Island Girl!

Kelly said...

Bree, so sorry to hear about the race, but I'm glad you are okay! Rest up, get well, and kick some butt at Rev3! I'll see you there, and will be cheering you on from (way) behind!

Missy said...

I kept looking and watching and trying to figure it out - had no idea you were so sick. Hey, what about that swim!@?!?! First out of the water with all those scary fast swimmers, niceeee. That had to make you smile, at least a little.

The Lazy Triathlete said...

There is nothing worse than the feeling of being that sick. You have to take care of your body. The best thing do is to rest. The Body will heal itself.

Now get well and get ready to kick some ass Island Girl.

Adrienne said...

you are AMAZING!!! Get healthy for this weekend. Looking so forward to meeting you...and hopefully not getting your cooties - race cooties will be awesome, pukey cooties, not so much:)

Bruce Stewart (ブルース・スチュワート) said...

I wondered what was going on when I read the race reports, and now I know. I am sorry about your being sick. I hope that you can try to minimize the times you get sick as it seems to happen at some inconvenient times. I hope Kainoa gets better, too. Maybe the reason I haven't been sick recently is that I only seem to communicate with people via the Internet and the bugs can't easily reach me. Rest and get better soon.

Nibbles said...

Bree, I was worried about you. But you were first out of the water ... Wow! I know you will do great in CT. Hope you and Kainoa are already feeling better.

Ange said...

oh I was wondering Bree... SO sorry to hear the preschool germs gottcha. I have been there...heck I still Am there!! it's Very hard to avoid sometimes. Too cute about Kainoa grabbign your hand though.
I hope you're well soon and have safe travels over here to our part of the world. Good luck at Rev3!!

NJ said...

So sorry you don't feel well. Get better soon! Nearly every sickness my daughter gets, I also get - so I know how it can feel to think you won't feel "normal" for a while. Rest up so you can really show them what you've got at REV3! Great job at Honu! If you had been able to continue, you would have rocked that race to the end!

Sherry Lynn said...

Awwww, Bree... you definitely had lots of us bloggers worried about ya! Having the cooties is NO fun! I'm so freakin' amazed at how WELL you did on the S&B leg, despite being ill. Take good care of yourself and Kainoa and kick this thing quick... :o) Your Rev3 bib... AWESOME!!! Can't wait to 'stalk' ya on race day!

Get better soon!

Chloe said...

Bree - you are awesome :) And that is the sweetest bib I have ever seen!!

How is it that salt water seems to cure everything?

IronBob said...

I take offense to your new follower "Leslie" post since I am a 50 something balding guy, but I gave up stalking years ago... after the jail sentence, that is...

Like most of us in blogland, I see your 1st out of the water and then your time on the bike was posted and I was thinking, a little off, but not bad and then nothing after that. Now it all makes sense, except the swim. Would you have been with Leito had you been healthy??

Believe it or not, I think things are starting to come together for you. First the equipment malfunction (that's what I call lost electrolytes) at St. Croix (obviously lessons learned) and sick for this race (cant control that) but still near the front.

With your continued hard work, your next Kona triathlon is going to rock.

Maggs said...

Bummer. I really hope you kick the bug before Rev 3. Think of how fresh your legs will be for that race now.

When I saw my coach, he said "don't worry, you're in good company DNFing. Bree and Luis did too"

Melissa said...

Hey Bree. Get better soon! Kainoa's comment made my heart melt. Seriously, you barfed on your sister's floor and she cleaned it up? Wow, that's love ;-) Ick.

L.O.V.E. the race bib, awesome!

Go Gammie said...

What a trooper you are Bree, to even get out of bed when you were that sick. You are amazing to be able to pull off such an amazing swim and bike, hmmm,,, so even when you can barely get out of bed, you can kick most everyones butt on the race course!!
Your race bib for REV 3 is the coolest,,, have a great race!!! You will be feeling all better and making the competition nervous!!

MJ said...

Makes sense now... I was worried.

Glad to hear it wasn't anything worse and like everyone else said - awesome splits for someone who was barfing and snotting!

Live to fight another day.

BSchorr said...
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BSchorr said...

Aloha Bree,

So sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Heard you had led out of the water (didn't get to see it as I was a little busy trying to get around the buoys myself at the time) and was surprised to hear you'd DNF'd. So glad to hear it's "just" something temporary that you'll get past.

I can empathize a little - I DNF'd my "hometown" tri earlier this year and felt terrible about it. I was excited to redeem myself at Kona last Saturday and I'm sure you'll come back strong for your next event too.

Best wishes and aloha,

-Ben-

Oscarjet said...

Amiga , estaba muy preocupado de no tener noticias tuyas sabiendo que no acabaste la carrera.
Siento mucho lo ocurrido a ti y Kainoa! animos y a recuperarse al 100x100.
Te envio 1000 kgrs de pura energia !!!!!
Un abrazo y besos a Kainoa!

sallyaston said...

OMG!! Been there, done that! I'm a mom and preschool teacher so i am always exposed to germs. I think before IM this year, I will take a week off work and hide out in my bedroom, LOL! However, it's different for me, its a hobby not a job,You have a great attitude about it though. Sending healing thoughts to you and the little guy!

Marni said...

Hang in there! I know this won't bring you down mentally! You are a great professional triathlete who takes life seriously and competes for fun (and for a few pay checks). You will be great in a few days :)
-marn

Train-This said...

It happens sister. And we always wonder, why on race day of all days? It's part of the plan girl. Wait till October, you'll shine at home!

Slow Rider said...

great to hear it was nothing serious. Preschool germs, we all have been there.

Samantha said...

Get well soon, Bree - then, kick some booty @ Rev3!!

Bob Almighty said...

Good luck healing for Rev3...I'll be working as a guard on Saturday and Sunday morning.

Cricket said...

Though I cannot explain why these things happen- I do know that you are learning more about yourself in each one. Learning is a gift- you are growing Bree- stronger and wiser!!! Watch out Tri World- God's got a "Big Plan" for beautiful Bree!!!
Love you honey-
Aunt Crciekt

Tracy said...

Hang in there, being sick sucks and many of us try to ignore it and push through. You will be back to your speedy self soon. In the mean time rest up and take care of your little man ;-)
Tracy

PJ said...

Feel better soon, Bree!

Stef said...

Bree! I'm so glad you are not injured, as, like a lot of people I wondered what happened after the bike.

You GO girl! Situations like these are presented for a reason -- there are no accidents. You are a shining star! NO worries!

Rest up and BEST up at Rev3. Go get em.

I'm still Jenny From The Block said...

Bree - sometimes doing the right thing is just dang hard, especially when our pride gets in the way. But it's no fun barfing everywhere and coach has your back so thats good to know. Lots of love and prayers. :) Jen

Jill Costantino said...

Hope those sickies go away soon! Glad to hear you went to your sister's to get some TLC. Hugs to you both and hope that Dr. of yours has a magic pill!

Jill Costantino said...

PS) Waaayyy cool BIB!!! That Rocks!

BriGaal said...

So sorry this happened to you Bree. I was very sick for my big A race this year (St. Anthony's), which is right in my hometown. It was a huge letdown. And even with everyone saying, oh you were sick, don't worry about it...it was hard to move on. But I did and of course you will, too. Good luck!

L1z4 said...

I always wondered why athletes would keep on going even though they're injured or sick, until I tripped and injured the arch of my foot really badly. What did I do? I sat for about a minute and then limped along carrying on what I was doing (cleaning my car) until it was too painful to ignore. I think it's the power of DENIAL. If you continue racing that means you're not that sick, right? and that's what your mind really wants, not to be sick (or injured) so it just tells you to suck it up and go. Denial is a powerful mental state indeed. Interesting.

Jenna said...

Kids have a way of putting it all into perspective. YOU are IT for little K!! "Mommy I love you!" "Hold my hand cause I do not feel well..." That was your finisher's medal and your top place finish right there!! We are all human and despite it being extremely frustrating you still pulled off some great racing...Was that a smart thing? (slipping into mommy mode for a second here) You really push yourself hard, and that is fabulous when you are healthy, but you are human and sometimes despite that desire to run, race and energize yourself with all that stuff you love, you need to hit the sack, rest, recoup and play it smart (like, god forbid - listening to your coach:) OK. out of mommy mode now!! Just kick the crap out of the cooties and feel better soon ;) BTW - when I was a teacher in the classroom I was always sick...ALWAYS. I got so paranoid about getting sick AGAIN, that I could SEE the germs coming at me... so I had to laugh at your description of the kids picking their noses and wiping snot and sharing all that crap with the other kids...touching stuff, sneezing with snot modules flying across the room ... Just be good to yourslef and get all better!!

Kathleen @ ForgingAhead said...

sure hope you feel 100% soon girl...big hug.

Mel said...

BREE..there you are:)...I know how that preschool germs spread so fast...My Mason "QUIT" school(really he did:)ha! But since he did I have not been sick for a long time (knock of wood)...I feel for you and Kainoa, get well soon!!!
GOOD choice on NO RUN...I would rather have the DNF then have coaches foot up your rear and you getting even sicker...you did so awesome on that swim and bike..we all still think you rock...so chin up..get well...and kick but at REV3...

Kim said...

Oh Bree! So sorry to hear about your race but you know what, that was tough but you will be so happy the next time you get to race healthy. I'm always saying that most of the battle is getting to the start line healthy, everything after taht is just plain bonus! We're all proud of you for doing your best and you did it that day by NOT running the whole thing.. Thinking of you! Get better!!

Maria said...

Hope you feel better soon Bree...enjoy rocking that awesome Bib # at Rev3...

Teresa said...

Get better so you can sport that stylin' race bib. Way to give it your best out there. :)
tn

Bob Mitera said...

Sorry to hear you guys were sick.

Get better soon. Cheers!

ShirleyPerly said...

Love that Island Girl bib! Get well soon. And what a great sister you have!!

Stacy said...

Thank you! Thank you!
Standing at the start of a race this am, I remembered this post, turned around, walked up to a race official and begged them to take the timing chip away from me before I made a huge mistake.
Thanks for being a strong woman so that other women can follow your example.