Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Down To My Underwear...

This morning I gave away the last of my shampoo, my shaver, and my Hawaiian Papaya lotion. Most the clothes are gone, a few to deliver today, my run shoes, and of course whatever is left over is for the airplane ride tomorrow. It’s almost “Adios Nicaragua” and “Aloha Hawaii”. Today I took my exam…94%! The best part, everything I learned (not just the language), is coming with me for the rest and the best of my life! This experience has been simply unreal.
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I came to Nicaragua to escape my own selfish disappointment. Unfortunately my dream of a Christmas as a happy family, husband, wife, son fell apart 2 Christmas’s ago. The last moment I remember as a family was driving home together and me trying to jump from a moving truck to escape the pain in my heart and Kainoa’s screams. Finally he slowed enough to let me out so I could walk home. The life I knew was falling apart, broken hearts. From there it was marriage counseling and marriage ending. Then me sitting alone in Dr. Traub’s office putting his cell number in my phone. I don’t remember his exact words, they were along the lines of what I did by trying to jump from a moving truck had him concerned for suicidal tendency’s. Never in my world did I consider myself anything but happy, thankful, and admiring life. I love life. To my son I made a promise, that his mom would never know that darkness again and that I will do whatever it takes so he never has to know the pain I’d known on that dark day.
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Now that we are on year two of sharing holidays and it was my turn to have holiday without Kainoa, I wanted to go some place to change my focus, where I could see others hurting worse, it would help me with my reality. (That sounds so horrible and selfish, forgive me). The truth is, I didn’t see a lot of hurting people. I saw almost everyone celebrating the life they have, a life with or without a family, with or without a house, car, clothes, or food. A life with little or no money. Most everyone was happy no matter the reality that they knew. Perhaps this was one of the most beautiful holidays I have ever celebrated and I would do it again, and again, and again, and again…
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In fact, the beauty of this trip is that my broken heart has become almost whole again. Today walking home from school my smile was enormous, just feeling the love I’ve learned. For the first time in I have no idea how long, I thought of him as a friend again, I’m talking about Kainoa’s dad in case you didn’t figure it out. Next to the beach were a bunch of “Gallo Pinto” (beans and rice) shirts, I found one in his size, paid for it, and will bring it back as a Christmas gift to him. He always wanted to surf in Central America.

Enough of that history, on to my final Nicaraguan adventures!! Last night I did some studying then went to buy waters. Upon my return, over 3 hours later-TOTALLY on Nica time, 10pm, my entire house was locked up! If you know Central American homes, most have bars on the windows and doors, there is no way to break in. Sure enough I forgot my keys, thinking people would be awake! SO… I tap, tap, tap on the windows and doors, nobody wakes up. Almost 10:30 now it looks like I will be sleeping outside with the chickens, clearly living local was becoming a reality. In the darkest dark ever (no lights in our town), I get the brilliant idea to go to Danillo’s, maybe he could help, he’s saved me already so this should be nothing new for him. As luck would have it his family is all sleeping too. No joke, this is the first time this trip that ANYONE, children included, are in bed before 1am! I’ve never seen town like this. After a few more, “Danilloooooooooooo”s whispered then shouted at his door, his sister answers. Tears are flowing from my face as it was now almost 11pm and I was stuck in the dark with men wanting to grab my butt and no way to get in through my bar covered house. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to laugh or cry when he saw me standing there. Eventually they got me home-in time for my last run in the stinky pink socks!
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The excitement to see Kainoa is just pouring out! Of course I will miss this town, these people, the children, my new friends, speaking Spanish, and all my adventures. Some things I will not miss, like this Italian man sitting just across the room from me now as I write this. I met him on one of my first days when I needed some help with setting up the wireless, accidently I answered him in Spanish not knowing he was Italian, and he thought I was making a move on him, now he is always smiling and winking at me when we are in the same area, its kind of funny, I'm looking at him now, he is so funny with this big smile and winking eyes, ha ha ha. The temptation to take a foto for you all is pretty big time, but I'm scared he will thinking I'm making another move on him and come sit with me....no thanks.
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Speaking of no thanks, I was asked on a real date ,with a real boy, in real life, here in Nicaragua, in Spanish, Oh Nicaragua you are too funny, NEVER going to forget a minute of this trip....this momma is going home tomorrow and the only boy I'm thinking about in this moment is Kainoa!
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Hasta La Pasta (thats my Spanish mixed with Italian) it's for the Italian man in the corner winking at me...
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Muchas Gracias to the little town of San Juan Del Sur for taking me in, to my Nica family for my bed, food, and loving on me, to my American family for supporting me, to Travis for making it all work out when I scrambled it all up, to Coach for the amazing run workouts, to my profesora Amanda-I will never forget you! Danilo, for being the best Ninera a girl could ever have! Come to Hawaii, I might need a babysitter there too! To the Swissy's, in a million years I never knew such warm hearts from such a freezing snow covered place, I WILL MISS YOU! Now it's time to get back to swimbikerun....2010 here I come! But first, time to find a few more adventures in Nicaragua....VAMOS!
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Bree

16 comments:

Kat said...

Even if you couldn't be with your son, a whole heart seems like a wonderful gift to yourself celebrate the season. Thanks for sharing your amazing adventures and being so honest in your writing.

PS- I think you should have taken a picture of the Italian man :) It doesn't seem like much stops you- he must be one heck of a guy!

Mark said...

It is incredibly telling—to me anyway—how a change of scenery can be so incredibly therapeutic, and help to put life into perspective. What I have gained from those experiences are chances to immerse myself in the culture, and experiences—both good and bad—of others. I think the human experience, the sharing, the learning and the growth that I can take from others are so important. Thanks for sharing your incredible journey!

Beth said...

Loved reading all your entries about this trip Bree! Sounds like it was sad, wonderful, heartbreaking, eye-opening, awesome, fun and scary all at the same time!! Safe travels home!

Rex said...

I am not a blog guy...but found your blog via Every Man Tri.com. I have sorted through all the blogs that are up for Top Blog blah blah blah. Your blog is so real and has had me checking back daily to see what's going on in your life. I love your honesty, passion and love for life. Oh yea...also appreciate the fact that you are an incredible triathlete. Thanks for keeping your blog salty and real vs flashy and over commercialized.

By the way, I spent a couple of weeks in Nica (Managua) doing basketball ministry and was blown away and humbled by the people and their love for life. Reading your experience took me back and reminded me of what's important.

Not that you care...but I will vote your blog as Best.

Jill Costantino said...

Congrats on the test Chica - you are a smart lady!
Ah - I am so glad to hear that you have found that peace within your heart. I think this trip of yours was not only good for yourself but the people you met, the people who read your blog and most importantly the people you love on!
Safe travels home!

ADC said...

I am sooo glad that things are simpler for you and that you are so upbeat. Love all the adventures in Central America - they are actually making me think about a little trip down there. Have a safe trip back home.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Thank you for sharing, I quite enjoyed it.

PocoLocoMan said...

What an amazing journey... in more ways than one! When your son gets a little older, he's gonna be very proud of the kind of momma he has :)

Marni said...

I've enjoyed your adventures. Nothing will top this trip and you really learned a lot.
Happy travels :)
-marn

Shawn and Tracy said...

Wow what an adventuress holiday.
Happy New Year!
Tracy

Polzúnkov said...

Feliz año nuevo, Bree!

Yasi said...

I loved reading all about your adventures there, what a great experience! Have a wonderful new year and great time with Kainoa.

CoachLiz said...

Prospero ano nuevo por 2010!

Trigirlpink said...

Safe travels and a toast to 2010!

Roblynn and Rebekah said...

San Jaun Del Sur is an amazing place for healing. We have had some really intense experiences there ourselves and love it. Best wishes to you, and hope you get to use your Spanish lots in Hawaii.

Nibbles said...

Bree, thanks so much for this candid post. I love your blog and voted for it as the endurance blog of the year at Everymantri.com. Happy New Year, and may 2010 bring you and K. everything you hope for.