Monday, December 21, 2009

Tengo MUCHO Tarea...

Yesterday was so difficult for me, slightly homesick and totally heart broken. It was difficult to stand on my own two feet without tripping over my tears. The hard part was being in the middle of a life that from my view is challenging, because back home I have it so easy. In my mind I came prepared to give and when I arrived it hit me that it will never be enough, that at the end of this trip I am returning to my own little paradise, and this little town will still be in need of so much more...

It's mostly the children that break my heart, it's always been like that for me, as if I have a soft spot for those that aren't really able to help themselves or understand. Last night about 9pm I took a walk with a new friend I met, we talked about how happy everyone is and it hit me... happiness is not about having a bed, more than 4 chairs, having your own room, having a car, or even having more than just beans and rice for 3 meals a day. It's something you find from within... you can't buy it and someone else can't give it to you. Yesterday I was hurting because I felt as if I could never do enough and I realized these people do not need me, I need them. The entire town's power went out, not a single light except those from the stars above, and it dawned on me, when all is dark all over the world everywhere looks the same. My beautiful life with a car, my own bed, walls with pictures, look the exact same in the dark as the life I'm finding here. I have no idea how to really explain that, but real joy really is something from deep within, and its vivid here...

The Nicaraguans are beautiful...
The town is beautiful....
Today I fell into my routine. Woke up to the children banging drums and the chickens, took my 8 mile run on an untouched trail, was almost ran over by a cow, chased by cows, and blown kisses from a bus load of men on the way to work-lucky me! Beans, rice, and pineapple for breakfast. Then off to school.
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My walk to school takes about 15 minutes and I pass by dozens of little shops and people sharing morning gossip on the streets. My maestra is amazing! She speaks so fast and has more energy than imaginable! We breeze through lesson after lesson and finally go for a walk through town. The conversation part is most challenging for me. I understand all she says and I passed my written test with flying colors, its me talking back that I struggle with. After school I played with my little Nico brother, he's 5, I used him for more speech practice knowing he won't laugh, he did...
Tonight, yo tengo MUCHO tarea (lots of homework). I absolutely love it! Of course, somethings never change and this student will play first. Off to la playa! There is a swim on my plan, actually, el chico that let me borrow the surf board yesterday is loaning it to me AGAIN... so that's where you'll find me. Then home for beans and rice dinner. Tomorrow we have a field trip. Thursday is the day I'm counting down for, that is the day we get to go into the most poverty touched part of Nicaragua to give all the clothes, toys, and school supplies. After understanding that having more doesn't mean being happier, I'm a bit more prepared.

My temporary home sweet home :)
Nos Vemos,
Bree.

8 comments:

Teresa said...

Bree, this post is so sweet and touching. With the holidays here you are doing exactly what the world should be doing. Helping others out and truley seeing everyones inner beauty. I know you will carry these experiences with you everyday from now on and I hope you continue to remind all of us throughout the year about this experience and the thoughtfulness that you give to other people. Truley touching and inspiring. I love that everyones beauty shines the same when the lights go out. Hang in there and keep appreciating all the little things that mean the most.

xoxoxo. tn

Charisa said...

This is such a wonderful trip you took and so neat that you can share it with all of us! Take it all in. Have a great Christmas - I know you will!

Coach Liz said...

Thank you for sharing. Your trip to Nicaragua emphasizes that it is not what you get in life that determines your attitude, but what you do with what has been given to you. I have seen many wealthy people who are broken and sad and many people who are just squeezing by who have the best attitude and have a smile on their face.

Looking forward to your next post.

ADC said...

It is the simple life that I love. We often have to remind ourselves that material things really do not matter.

PocoLocoMan said...

What you are doing is so great - and what Christmas is really about. Loved what you said about happiness not being tied to what you have. Prayers for a wonderful trip and continued blessings...

Angela and David Kidd said...

This is a beautiful post. I want to cry just reading about your adventures so I can't imagine how heart breaking yet heart warming it is for you to experience.

Regina said...

We've just run into a heap of bad luck, but fortunately my hubby and I are like minded. We are healthy, we have a roof over our heads and we know we are doing better than many others, so we will grin and bear it. As you say, happiness comes from inside. It won't do us any good (or our son) for us to lament about or bad fortune. You find joy in the small things when you can.

Mama Simmons said...

I love reading your thoughts from your travels, Bree. I spent a year teaching in Indonesia (about 10 years ago) and your posts are bringing back lots of vivid memories.