Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Waves....

The waves are beautiful today, so incredibly gorgeous. No matter how many times I sit on a beach and stare out over the ocean I'm always amazed as the first time I ever looked out to sea. Truly it is my home sweet home, all things ocean. Living on an island surrounded by water is such my dream come true.
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Today I made my longest ocean swim since this entire rib injury 11 days ago. Half a mile. 800 open ocean meters. Parts of it hurt, parts of it felt almost normal, most of it just felt so perfect. The ocean full of waves and sloppy chop is my favorite swim conditions, it was almost as if swimming was made for me today and I was destined to make it further this try. I was still unable to swim down to the ocean floor as catching a breath still troubles me and my chest gets too tight, but Ill take the 800 meters, for now. I'm so determined to make it all the way to the Iron buoy and back, to just make it far. I've never taken my passion and ocean life for granted, it's one of those things that I'm always appreciating, so not being able to have as much of it as usual has really been effecting my life.
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A lot of little things have changed for the moment, things like being able to turn my truck to the right or reverse and turn left. Opening anything tight with the right arm, putting air in my bike tires, even taking off the pillow cases this morning was a challenge, I'm talking super everyday simple things are ridiculous. When my life is interrupted like this and I feel like I can't fully live it bothers me, a lot. Yesterday was the first time I let it go...
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I almost caved and took the pain medicine, then a neighbor was ready and willing to fire up some green and promised I'd "fo-get all 'bout da pain". It was sort of like standing on the edge and almost caving in. That funky pain stuff and getting high isn't really my style though, so I did something that felt so much better. I laced up the shoes and ran as fast as I could as hard as I could despite the fact it would hurt me worse physically and not part of my "Ironman training plan". It felt so good! In fact I was foaming at the mouth, my arm was on fire, but I just ran as hard as I possibly could with tears streaming down my face, all the way to the beach. I couldn't breathe, the arm was yelling at me, even my legs hurt...but it was a good pain medicine for my head and heart at the moment...
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Quick chat with coach about that one, he is always so incredibly supportive, yet realistic and reminded me there is a good chance it will still hurt on race day but we will find a way to get swimming again and manage the discomfort. So okay, that's done.... I blew up and ran too hard but it knocked some sense back into me and I feel better now. Other than that, movies have been helping and last night some of the boys took me to that "Going the distance" flick...parts of it had me rolling in laughter that was more of screaming pain, laughing hurts worst of all but it was incredibly entertaining all at the same time.
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Tonight was much better...I ran. It was a nice 7 miles just as the sun was going down on the day and I just remained focused on the beaches I ran past, the sun setting, and the island tunes on the IPOD, kept it simple...stayed calm and as soon as I finished I kid you not, there was a rainbow! It was the first rainbow Id seen since all this mess and it was just what I needed...
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Alright... tomorrow I'm going to attempt 4 hours on the bike. Its a wonderful thing knowing most the island because if things aren't rolling along smooth Ill be sure to jump in the back of a pick up truck and hele home that way...
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Hugs from Hawaii...
Bree

5 comments:

Kim said...

Keep on..Keepin On Bree! Sounds like progress is happening slowly but surely and you are staying positive which is key! The best part is, this is only temporary so just hang in there and do your best. I hope your 4 hour bike goes AWESOME!! You can do it!!

PocoLocoMan said...

Commendable how you just keep moving forward through the pain. Praying for miraculous healing that will allow you to truly enjoy the Big Race! : )

Chad said...

"...getting high isn't really my style though, so I did something that felt so much better. I laced up the shoes and ran as fast as I could..."
...and THEN I got high. It's always better after a hard run.

Libby said...

keep your chin up girl. can't wait to hear how the ride goes tomorrow. though its not as fast as you want, there's improvements and thats good!!! many many good healing vibes your way!!! you WILL get through this!

AJ said...

You will get through your injury and be wiser and stronger due to the perspective it gives you. I just read an article on Runner's World in the "Other Voices" blog section that is guaranteed to take your breath away and make you appreciate what you have and what you can do even if it is not what you want and know your body can do when it is fully healthy...check it out when you have a chance: http://othervoices.runnersworld.com/2010/09/i-still-remember-running/