Thursday, January 31, 2013

102 Bike Miles...

I want this.  Usually, I'm not a girl with wants...but I want this.  5 days in a row surf has hit the shores and 5 days in a row a struggle to be comfy in the water happened. One day freezing I wore Mike's oversized rashy.  That was like being stuffed in a pillowcase.  The wetty vest was good, but it was a boys and I am a big fan of girly clothing in the line up.  Yesterday hosted beautiful sunset waves, accidently I wore a bikini that was brilliant cliff jumping only to fall off in the surf.  It's so cold.  But not full suit cold.  It's not even bikini weather here.  THIS would be wonderful, it's Roxy's new Hawaii girly wetty, perfect for the fresh air but 76* water...

That has nothing to do with triathlon, I know.  However it has so much to do with a giant reason for my happiness.  While airing up my tires it hit me that I have not ran in almost 8 weeks, yet I am so happy.  Clearly, running does not define my smile.  Perhaps a small part of me used it has an escape, a run to "run" from stuff in life.  After a good run I always felt like a million bucks, unstoppable in fact, when life tried to kick my @$$ I just ran and ran.  Maybe I even blamed running for many (lots) of my smiles.  But here I am without it and I am still happy.

One of my favorite quotes is, "If you aren't enough without it you will never be enough with it".  That goes for anything. Running is so much a part of my life.  I breathe it and crave it and want it and pray about it.  I thought by now some small depression would set it looking at my run shoes all over the front door steps.  But I just surf.  The ocean takes over, the waves crash me, the sunsets fill me, and the company is perfect.  I get so lost out in the ocean, just swept up in a tide of unknown that I am okay with...healing.

My day began before sunrise, on the bike.  I just wanted to ride for 5 hours, wherever that took me would be fine.  My most since this foot thing has been 3hrs.  Today was almost 6, because the wind and me got caught up in a million reasons I should be on the bike.  102 miles later it felt like home in my heart.  If you've ever endured one of those long rides where you just want to keep going, today would explain what it felt like here for me.  The whales took up most the ocean, dreams took up most my attention, and love notes of support gave me courage.  I can't even believe an Ironman is so close in my future.

As always the best part was Hawi.  There will forever be something special about this little town.  Maybe because it's the turn around for Ironman Hawaii?  Maybe because it's such an out of the way destination that sits so still but takes so much work to arrive at?  In any case, I want to spend more time up there, by bike would be fine too.  The rest of the day I did absolutely nothing.  Every intention to aqua jog and do sit-ups paraded my plans, but I forgot how much energy 102 miles takes when 7 weeks has been mostly spent on the couch.  For today, I let patience be my guide and called it a day...

Tomorrow will be another day closer to that first run in a very, very long time.  Till then, life is still good even without pounding the pavement.

xo, Bree

3 comments:

Lucy Francis said...

I can't imagine anything more fun than surfing in the ocean in that beautiful island of yours. surely that will cure anything Bree :-)
Every day I find out you're doing a bit more riding , a bit more swimming I get so happy for you.
You WILL run again!

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