Monday, February 25, 2013

Swim, Believe, Hapalua...


...and so I finally finished Wednesday's swim.  It hit me Friday that I was a nice girl trapped in a very mean girls body.  Running some grassy loops a man decided to remind me, "Hey, you're the girl that found that swimmer".  I said yes and wanted to run without saying anything more.  He wanted to talk more and tell me he was there too.  That's when I got really mean and yelled, "I dont want to talk about it".  If I wasn't jogging my arms would have tried to hit him.  I was so angry, my mind was thinking, "Really?  You were there and saw it and didn't grab her or help me?"  Maybe I should let it go...but 2 days after the swim I hadn't.  Now I have, and I apologize huge to the men I snapped at, I truly am sorry for the lack of patience. 

It took a solo return trip back to the bay to let it all go.  I swam out and left a lei where the girl spent her last moments breathing.  Tears were flowing from my heart, not just my eyes.  It was pretty horrible for me for a moment.  Swimming back in it hit me though,  I never even finished my Wednesday swim, I took a boat ride back to the beach.  With that very thought there was finally closure to it all, the swim and that morning was complete.

...almost complete.  2 bikini bottoms helped me pick myself up and pull it together....

 The weekend got much better as far as swimming goes.  Kainoa had his first swim meet of the season.  He picked up right where he left off last season, belly flops, crashing into lane lines, making faces only a mother could love, and of course having me on the edge of my seat as he attempted 50 long course meters butterfly!

As for the bike, or the moments where believing in this whole broken foot thing being for some unknown at the moment "blessing in disguise", I am still insanely passionate about sport this season.  I've been riding a lot (since it's what my legs can do most right now) and with every ride it just seems like the people in my life push me to believe even more.  Little love notes, big encouragement, and everything in between as been lavished upon me.  However, in the midst of today's long ride where the winds took a very valiant attempt to throw me from my bike, I realized that the true beauty of a dream is having the courage to believe in yourself.  Oh so easy to give up and cave in.  To simply shut it all down until someone comes and picks you up. All this biking alone has helped me face myself like never before...
Finally, Hapalua.  Hawaii's big half marathon is next Sunday and yesterday I finally landed 8 miles of running!  Here is the punch line-it was a broken run!  4 miles in the morning and 4 miles at sunset with the family.  It's not time yet to go 8 straight miles, the race director wrote a few dozen times (actually only 3) to see if I want to remove myself from the start list.  Nope, I do not want to.  Friday the doctor is going to make the call for me after the LAST x-ray.  That my friends is it for swim, believe, and Hapalua...

Have a good week!

2 comments: said...

A really sad article Bree
The story of the young woman shocked me last week very.
Life can be so fast to an end.
I hope you process it well

Greetings from Germany

P.S. I read here for 4 years :-)

Lucy Francis said...

They say it's normal to feel a range of emotions from sadness to anger. The main thing is that you're not bottleing ir in. I'm sure the man got the hint.
By the way great news on the training front. On sunday don't let your toe get to the point where it hurts or feels funny: run then walk if you can, then crawl if you have to to keep it healing